In today's Telegraph, they published an 8 page pull out special thing detailing every election result that had been declared at the time of publishing (I think two had still to be declared). Now, I guess this is only of use to people like me who are a little sad and are interested in the quirks of the system. But looking through the results, one constituency stood out for me. It was Derbyshire West.
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My sister lived in Derby while she went to university there a few years back, but that's not the reason it made me smile.
Have a look at the results:
| Name | Party | Votes | %age | +/- %age |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Patrick McLoughlin | Conservative | 24378 | 47.7 | -0.3 |
| David Menon | Labour | 13625 | 26.6 | -6.8 |
| Ray Dring | Liberal Democrats | 11408 | 22.3 | +6.6 |
| Michael Cruddas | UK Independence Party | 1322 | 2.6 | +1.3 |
| Nick 'The Flying Brick' Delves | Monster Raving Loony Party | 405 | 0.8 | -0.1 |
| Martin Kyslun | Independent | 5 | 0.0 | |
| Majority | 10753 | 21.0 | ||
| Turnout | 51143 | 69.0 | +1.4 |
Poor Mr Kyslun. 5 votes! Why even bother to get out of bed for 5 votes? For 0.0097765% of people to endorse you? For less than 1 in 1000 people to decide that, yes, you're the man for them? That's got to be just his family voting for him. He's probably making a huge point about some fantastic problem in Derbyshire West, but even so, it's probably only affecting him!
You know, I'm guessing that he didn't get the result he wanted...
One year, I might put myself forward as a candidate. Except I won't tell anybody, just put my name down. And I'll do it in an area where no one knows my name and hope and pray that I get no votes at all. I want to be the person that gets 0. It's almost an ambition!
I happen to know Martin and you have it very wrong!!!
You have a very normal ambition. Sounds like the sort of ambition that just never happens!
In fact I would hazard a guess that you are in 99.9902235% of the population
:~)
OMRLP Candidate West Derbyshire
Nick Delves